SNL Classic Skits

SNL Classic Skits

I have so many favorite SNL sketches and characters, primarily from the 90’s and on. Here’s some of the best:

Behind The Music: Blue Oyster Cult.  Will Ferrel playing a cowbell with the band as they play “Dont Fear the Reaper”.  Christopher Walken plays Bruce Dickinson.  Bad 70’s outfits and hair, Will’s gut hanging out of his shirt as goes nuts on the cowbell, hilarity ensues.

will ferrel snl skit

Laser Cats with Spielberg guest appearing. So cheesy yet will make you laugh out loud.

Cosby show spoof with the Obamas where they recreate the famous Cosby episode when the family sings and dances for Cliff’s parent’s anniversary.

cosby obamas

Weekend Update with a pregnant Amy Poehler rapping while Sarah Palin sits at the news counter with Seth Meyers.  My favorite sketch to date.

poehler palin

My favorite of Mike Meyers are the Coffee Talk sketches and Wayne’s World.

Delicious Dish, the NPR radio show with hosts Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, featuring Betty White.

betty white radio show

The Church Lady with Dana Carvey.

Jimmy Fallon with Michael Buble’s song duets.  Jimmy impersonates various artists to perfection.

fallon buble

Debbie Downer with Rachel Dratch.  One of the best of these was the Walt Disney World sketch with Lindsay Lohan because they all broke character and laughed at some point.

Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker with Chris Farley and David Spade, Phil Hartman, and Julia Sweeney.

Oprah’s Favorite Things spoof with Maya Rudolph where the audience goes crazy complete with people’s heads blowing off.

favorite things

Dick in a Box with Justin Timberlake and Andy Samberg. So funny, clever, inappropriate, fab.

Pandora Radio skit with Bruno Mars where the company experiences music issues and Bruno has to sing other artist’s songs. Brilliant because his impression of Green Day’s Billy is dead on. He also does a mean Michael Jackson.

Kristen Wiig as Suze Orman is always a pretty dead-on impersonation.

wiig as orman

Tina Fey and Amy Poehler as Sarah Palin and Hillary Clinton.  They poke fun at each other, even mentioning Hillary’s cankles.

palin clinton snl

Tina Fey as Sarah Palin with Amy Poehler as Katie Couric.  The famous interview between Sarah and Katie is mocked and it is so sad that it is funny.

Mom Jeans with Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Rachel Dratch, and Maya Rudolph.  This sketch was great because most people have seen the “mom jeans” on your typical suburban moms and cringe at how bad they are.

mom jeans snl

Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!

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Nightmare Neighbors – Part 3

Nightmare Neighbors – Part 3

So, the moral of my Nightmare Neighbors Part 1 & 2 is that you need to be respectful and courteous of those who live around you.  Some rules to live by in shared living situations:

  1. Everyone around you is usually paying just as much as you are to live there.  Remember that you are living in a shared space!
  2. Treat others as you wish to be treated.  Duh.
  3. If you live in a non-smoking building, do not smoke indoors.  There are plenty of places that allow smoking where you can live.  Don’t stink up my house.
  4. If you have thin walls, know that what you can hear through the walls, your neighbors can hear too.  If you are having a party wrap it up at a decent hour or at least give your neighbors a forewarning that you’re having a party and it might go late.
  5. Don’t play loud music at all hours of the night or at all.  That’s what the volume knob and headphones are for.
  6. We all argue.  If you are fighting with your roomie/mate, keep it to a minimum or at least don’t throw things.
  7. Move in/out at a decent hour.
  8. Keep the general noise level to a minimum (i.e. kids running around, dogs barking, hallway noise, etc.)
  9. If people live below you, for goodness sake, put felt pads on the bottom of your kitchen chairs.
  10. If there are chronic rule violators, report it!  Don’t assume someone else will, and know the more people who report it, the faster the situation is resolved.
  11. Keep any common areas clean and safe.  Pick up your dog poop.  Help pick up garbage outside and in hallways.  Keep an eye out for anyone/anything suspicious in your building or outside it.  Help shovel snow or put down salt in winter.

I’d like to add that at no time, ever, in the history of my renting, have I had the cops called on me, the landlord or association say their was a complaint or neighbors complain to me about an issue.  So I’d like to think I’m a proper neighbor who can dole out this advice.

Nightmare Neighbors – Part 2

Nightmare Neighbors – Part 2

Where to begin with this latest building? My husband and I have lived in our Chicago Ridge building for almost 5 years now and it certainly has been an interesting five years!  We have had two separate neighbors who decided it was a good idea to move in at 11:00 pm at night.  One on a weeknight and one on a Sunday.  Our neighbors across the hall fought constantly.  The female got arrested at some point for hitting her baby daddy and she was going on and on about “blood getting all over her carpet”.  I’m pretty sure she was high.  We had a family that lived downstairs and their pre-teen boys loved to play basketball indoors, against the ceiling and walls.  And the boys were left unattended with other kids to do whatever they pleased every Sunday night between 9pm-1am.  Did I mention our walls are paper thin?  Like we-can-hear-each-other-going-to-the- bathroom-thin.  So this was incredibly loud.  Shortly after this Arabic family moved out, the FBI came around with a picture of the wife asking questions about their whereabouts and comings and goings.  That was reassuring.

The neighbors we share a kitchen wall with, they like to fight too.  She likes to throw and break things and yell things like “stop being lazy like a n*gger”.  Yeah, classy all the way.  The couple who lived their before them, the wife was such a loony bin (and looked it too) that we named her “the banshee”.  A lot of “where were you?” and “who were you with?” was heard through the walls.  Our current neighbor likes to play loud music, about half of which is good.  So it isn’t a problem until he decides to play club beats at 11:00 pm on a Sunday.  What is it about 11:00 pm?  He also plays this bizzaro drum/chanting/constantly repetitive thing that I think is a sound machine to help sleep or something.  However, it is annoying as hell, especially when you hear the same ‘bomb going off’ type noise, every 30 seconds, for 6 hours on end.  I was never more sure I wanted to harm someone than after listening to that for SIX hours.

But that is not even the worst of it.  The fucktards who moved in downstairs were truly neighbors from hell.  There were at least 5 college guys, living in a 2 bedroom, who all rotated between 10 cars.  Why they needed so many cars, I do not know.  They smoked weed and cigarettes 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Might I mention, our building is smoke-free, as in, no smoking allowed.  Signs are by every door.  Their weed smoke was so bad, it was cloudy in our apartment.  CLOUDY.  After battling them on this issue over and over, they finally got a little better and either smoked mainly in the bathroom with the fan on, or outside.  Obviously they did not like this inconvenience because they proceeded to repeatedly rev their loud car engines nightly at all hours.  Again, it bears repeating that our walls are paper thin.  They would also blare their car stereos.  All of the neighbors had an issue with their behavior.  Even ones across the parking lot in another building because that is how loud they were.  In their driving while high stupor, they tried backing into a parking spot and scraped the side of our one neighbor’s new car.  Another neighbor asked them to turn down their car music and they spit all over his car.  After months of this, the association FINALLY did something.  They got an eviction notice and were out within a month.  My husband and I celebrated with some champagne and I never slept so well.

Nightmare Neighbors – part 1

Nightmare Neighbors – part 1

I have had so many issues with neighbors over the years that I just had to put it on paper, so to speak.  Neighbors take note!

I’m going to begin with my very first apartment which was in Lincoln Park, IL when I was going to college in the city.  Our neighbors weren’t too bad with the exception of one thing…they wore their heels ALL the time on hardwood floors at all hours.  So we would hear click clack click clack all day long.  Annoying.

My next apartment was in Des Plaines, IL.  I was done with college and working my first real full time job.  I lived by myself.  I had a neighbor down the hall from me who was abusive to his wife/girlfriend to the point that my floor would shake, I’d hear him shoving her into things and screaming at her with things like “fuck you bitch”.  Needless to say the cops were frequently called.  One time the cops came out and I could hear the guy yelling “You think I’m afraid of going to jail? I just got out.”  I left a pamphlet for an abuse hotline at their doorstep.

At this same apartment, we had a really old guy on the floor below me who was a chronic smoker and left his front door open all the time because he didn’t want the smoke in his place.  Do you see this logic?  He didn’t want the smoke in his place so he opened the door and contaminated our whole building instead.  Lovely.

After that I moved to Burbank, IL with my boyfriend.  Yes, I moved a lot.  This was my nicest apartment yet.  I really can’t complain much about this one.  I would like to mention, however, our upstairs neighbor who was a college guy who would bring home a different chick every other day and they all put on quite a show in the bedroom, which we heard every detail of.  I think my boyfriend secretly wanted to hi-five him.  Tee hee.

To be continued…

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Courtesy of The Boston Globe Magazine