Passing Down the Essentials – Knowledge and wisdom from a thirty something to her future daughter

Passing Down the Essentials – Knowledge and wisdom from a thirty something to her future daughter

I was inspired to create this list after reading this brilliant list from Leah Froehle:  Thank you for the idea.

  1. Treat yourself to flowers every now and then.
  2. Be strong when you need to, but also cry your eyes out when you need to also.
  3. It’s okay to ask for help.
  4. You will come across incredible ignorance in others, understand that no one taught them better.
  5. Never take your surroundings for granted.
  6. Every obstacle you face, no matter how awful at the time, will only make you stronger and wiser.
  7. Life is sometimes unfair and cruel.  Try to be a good person anyway.
  8. Believe in karma.
  9. Everything happens for a reason.  Learn from it.
  10. Its okay to splurge on 1 pair of shoes you just can’t resist, and can’t afford.  Wear the shit out of them.
  11. Save your money.  Save, save and save some more.
  12. In your 20’s your teenage years won’t matter, in your 30’s you’ll laugh at your 20’s.
  13. Get involved in high school and college.  You’ll do amazing things, meet incredible people, and forever have those memories.
  14. Never settle for a partner who doesn’t treasure you.
  15. Never pay your bills late.  Ever.
  16. As you get older, it’s more difficult to keep in touch with friends.  Fight like hell to do it.
  17. I know I passed down my body hair and I’m sorry.  Genetics, ugh.
  18. Know how to spell and write well.  It goes a long way in your life and career.
  19. Speaking of careers, that stuff you learned in science and math, you will NEVER use it.  Still try to get passing grades anyway.
  20. Do not trust people who don’t like animals.  There’s something lacking there.
  21. Don’t be afraid to boycott, protest, and petition.  Every person who takes action matters and nothing changes if everyone hopes someone else will fight.
  22. Ibuprofen and portable heat wraps are your best friend.
  23. Wear what you feel great in, not what will impress others.
  24. Snack between meals.   Drink tons of water.
  25. Skip the tanning beds/laying out.  It’s tempting in your teens and 20’s but trust me, in your 30’s you will want nice, healthy, skin.
  26. Get a tattoo.  Just one, something tasteful.  Think it over for at least a year before putting on your body.  Not before you’re 18.
  27. Cause trouble, but don’t get arrested.
  28. Have fun, but never hurt anyone.
  29. However, if someone picks a fight with you, it’s okay to defend yourself.
  30. Read.  Books are a wonderful escape and if you find the right genre for you, you will be hooked.
  31. Learn basic self-defense.   Nose thrust, eye gouge, kneecap, groin.
  32. Find something you love to do and devote yourself to it.
  33. Try all kinds of things: painting, volunteering, photography, sports, dance, music, gardening.
  34. Know that your interviewer WANTS you to do well.
  35. Take a vacation with your girlfriends.
  36. Take a vacation by yourself.
  37. Life’s too short to regret your decisions.
  38. It’s sometimes hard, but don’t be embarrassed by your family.  They are what made you, brought you up and cared for you.  They won’t be around forever.
  39. Be a good listener.
  40. You can always talk to me.  About anything.  Always.
  41. There are rules and punishments because we love you.
  42. A little coat of nail polish can really perk you up.
  43. Know how to cook 5 things really well.
  44. Have a set of go-to recipes for every occasion.
  45. Take a TON of pictures.  Your memories are the best, but there’s nothing like looking at old pictures and reminiscing.
  46. Know that we support you, no matter what.
  47. Own a pet.  Learn what it means to care for another being who will love you unconditionally.
  48. Lying will always bite you in the ass.
  49. Don’t be two-faced with others.  Its okay to not like everyone and it’s better than being fake.
  50. You don’t have to like coffee or wine or yoga.
  51. Laugh until your stomach hurts.  Laughter cleanses the soul like no other.
  52. Listen to the wisdom of your elders.  You will get some amazing advice along the way.
  53. Give thoughtful gifts.
  54. Blast your music and dance around or rock out on a regular basis.
  55. You are never alone.
  56. Be good at keeping secrets.
  57. Compassion in life is what makes the world go ‘round.
  58. The person next to you may be fighting a harder battle.
  59. When envious, understand it may not be as perfect as it seems.
  60. Sit up straight.
  61. Buy some gorgeous, fancy bras.  Even if you’re the only one seeing them.
  62. Sex is giving yourself fully to someone you love.  That is not to be taken lightly.
  63. Use protection.  The consequences of not are lifelong and bring excruciatingly difficult choices.
  64. We (your parents) have made mistakes growing up.  We are human.  We will continue to make mistakes.
  65. Set goals and stick to them.  There’s no better feeling than when you achieve one.
  66. Very very few women look better after having plastic surgery.
  67. Weigh the pros and cons once, then make a decision.
  68. Sometimes it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
  69. Watch The Wizard of Oz, The Breakfast Club, Office Space and when appropriate Sex and the City, all the seasons.
  70. You must read the Harry Potter books.
  71. A thesaurus is your best friend in college.
  72. Always have an appreciation for nature.
  73. Garlic salt is delish on most foods.
  74. So is lemon.
  75. When shopping for furniture, buy stuff that is multi-functional.
  76. IKEA is awesome.
  77. Board games are a ton of fun, even as an adult.
  78. Don’t smoke.
  79. It’s totally okay to pig out once in a while.
  80. Never rely on others to find happiness within.
  81. A massage can cure just about any stressor.
  82. Trust your woman’s instinct.  If something is telling you a situation is bad, listen to it.
  83. Always check your blind spot and rear view mirror.
  84. Always use your seatbelt.
  85. The dentist will make you pay if you don’t take care of your teeth.
  86. Put a little away each paycheck and pretend you never got it.
  87. Use this as your emergency fund.
  88. Try out long hair, short hair, dark hair, light hair.
  89. It is perfectly acceptable to wear white after Labor Day.
  90. Cover your mouth when you sneeze or cough – always!
  91. Avocadoes are delicious, good for you, and make a great meal accessory.  Eat ‘em up!
  92. Learn how to do a good smoky eye.
  93. There’s no rule saying you have to get married, have to have kids, or have to own a house.




Karma’s A Bitch

Karma’s A Bitch

Yes, I truly believe in karma and live my life accordingly.  You do good things and are a good person and it comes back to you.  On the flip side if you do bad things and are a cruel person, you will have bad things happen to you.  I try to live my life so that good karma comes my way, and avoid doing things that may come back to bite me in the ass.

Having said all that, my husband and I keep having strings of bad luck.  I also know others who are good people who just cant catch a break.  I know of one person who just found out he has cancer who got in 2 car accidents in one year.

So as an example, my husband and I are great neighbors.  We are nice to those who live around us, watch out for them, we don’t smoke or party or do drugs, and we are pretty quiet.  Yet, we have had 2 truly horrific neighbors now.  Two in a row, that have been so bad we have had to involve the police and association on both accounts.  This puzzles me.  How does karma apply here?

When we got our parrot, she was happy and healthy as far as we could tell.  She was also the best thing that ever happened to us.  We adored her.  We also adopted her from a friend who could no longer care for her despite a few reservations we had about potential costs.  About a year later, we find out she has a horrible disease that wears away at her nervous system and will eventually cause her death.  There is no cure.  Is this just life and death or is this karma?

My husband is the nicest, kindest, warmest person I know.  He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body.  I will admit that I’m pessimistic which causes all kinds of issues, but can honestly say I’m a good person who cares for others and tries to make the world a little better as often as I can.  We are good, we are kind, we are compassionate.  Yet over and over again, we run into bad luck.  Everyone keeps telling us “this is your year, I feel it”.  God I hope so cuz these past few years have been beyond tough.  I try to understand karma as best I can and keep her pleased so that one of these days, things may finally go our way.