One-Offs

One-Offs

I just discovered a new term and I feel a bit like I’ve been living under a rock for not having heard of this until now.   I need to get out more.

Pangender

Wikipedia: “Pangender people are those who do not wish to be labeled as female or male in gender, as they feel that they do not fit into binary genders because they feel they are all genders. The term has a great deal of overlap with genderqueer and is used by those in the LGBT community meaning “all genders.””

I find this intriguing.  How is this different from transgenders or transsexuals?  I’ll have to research more.

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My Brain Needs an Off Switch

My Brain Needs an Off Switch

Seriously.  If we could have the ability to just flick a switch to stop ourselves from thinking even for an hour, I would do it in a heartbeat.  Here is what goes through my mind in any given hour:  

Do I have food in my teeth?  I wish my allergies would let up.  I have to get my wrists checked.  I think I have carpal tunnel.  Or arthritis.  Darn dog walking all those years!  Not that I didn’t love it.  I wonder if I’ll ever find a job I love.  Does that even exist?  I wonder if our new neighbors will be non-smokers.  Please God, let them be non-smokers, non drug users.  Please.  What if we have nightmare neighbors again?  Did I pay this bill?  I forgot to call ____.  I really have to deposit $ in a bank.  I wish I was paid more.  I’m not making enough for the years experience working I have.  Will I ever get pregnant?  It hasn’t been long at all but feels like forever with each passing month.  I hope Gorilla is okay.  I hope she isn’t bored out of her mind.  Well [that] was rude.  I pray our cars dont break down.  We’ll need a new car soon.  I really need to get my car door fixed.  Somebody is in a crabby mood today.  I wish I could take a vacation.  Our bank account is getting low.  I’m freaking out again.  Should I ask for a raise?  I think the Hawks will win again.  I think Saad is kind of hot.  I’m looking forward to our weekend getaway in 2 months.  I nailed that presentation.  I need to repaint my toes.  What should we have for dinner?  I have to take the towels out of the dryer.  I have to call _____.  Oooh! A wedding announcement.  The last wedding we went to was so fun.  Still didn’t get a thank you card from the 800 person wedding/concert/show.  People are so rude when they don’t send thank you cards for wedding gifts.  I better see where they are registered.  I have to make plans with the bestie.  It’s been way too long.  Ugh, when???  No time!  I miss my bestie and my brother.  I never see them.  She has cute shoes on.  I’m hungry.  I really need to start working out.  Gotta get out the bike again.  That trail was great.  I gotta put a reminder in my phone for _____.

And so it goes.  For real.  I could be doing 4 different tasks at once and somehow even if I’m not consciously thinking of all these things they are always in the back of my mind.  But most of the time I am consciously thinking all this.  95% of my thoughts are worries, fears, mostly irrational some rational.  Am I the only one who has this?  I’m amazed sometimes I can remember anything with all this information on a loop in my brain. 

Just switch me off like a light please.    

Financial Safety Net

Financial Safety Net

How much do you need in your bank account to feel “safe”?  What is your financial safety net?  I often hear Suze Orman in my head yelling at me for one thing or another when it comes to money.  “Why are you taking that place when you can’t afford it?  Why aren’t you saving more each paycheck?  You can’t afford those sandals!”  And I love her for it, I do.  And we are not spenders.  We are extremely conscience of every single purchase we make and don’t spend money on non-essentials.

About twice a month, or when I usually pay the bulk of our bills, I have a panic attack when I look at what is in our bank account.  Part of it is that we’ve had a recurring stream of bad luck whether it’s job loss, pets getting ill, health situations, car issues, etc. where we keep having to shell out large sums of money.  So my knee jerk reaction is to panic when we get below a certain amount.  I need a safety net and we are currently way below where I’d like us to be.  I’m just wondering, does everyone have a safety net? 

Figuring People Out

Figuring People Out

There is nothing more difficult in life than trying to figure people out.  It is something I have struggled with for as long as I can remember.  With everyone feeling the need to be politically correct and putting on a façade for work or whatever the case is, people are strange.  I’ve had friends who I thought I was really close to only to have a horrible break up and not have them be there for me in any way, shape, or form.  I had a friend who I would always fight with, over everything.  I found myself competing with her for no reason at all except to keep up with how competitive she was with me.

I had friends who I talked to and/or hung out with all the time, they got married and poof, never heard from them ever again.  Same thing with friends who have had kids.  They act like they can’t relate to you on any level anymore when you’ve known them forever.

I’ve had so many co-workers who will bitch to the high heavens about someone then pretend to kiss their ass 5 minutes later.  Or even be nice to me, then talk behind my back.  I get being polite and respectful to your co-workers but don’t put on an act either.  People can see right through it.

Or we go out after hours and hang out with the team and everyone is having a great time and getting along and then come the next day, they act like you weren’t chatting it up for hours the night before.  It’s so difficult to tell who is genuine and who isn’t.  It’s also exhausting trying to figure out if someone likes you or not.  As much as I try not to care, I can’t help it.  I wish people would just be honest and not two faced or contradictory.

No Love For Working Parents

No Love For Working Parents

Growing up I had 2 amazing parents who worked full-time to provide for me and my brother.  Because they both worked, it was difficult if not impossible to be a PTA mom, attend field trips as a chaperon, pick me up from practice or come to games.  I think it is even worse now at days with so many stay at home parents, there’s few opportunities to get involved outside of 9 am-2 pm, Monday-Friday.

If you open up your local Park District booklet of activities and events, 99% of them are during the day, during the week.  Same goes for child related library activities.

Some schools don’t offer buses so the parents have to find a way to get their kids to and from school on a daily basis, then when the kids get out of school they need someone to look after them until the parents get home.

Doctors are another guilty party of rarely catering to working parents.  And if you need to see a specialist, forget about it.

I’ve also heard of moms who criticize working mothers for taking an easier way out.  For example, one mom made an underhanded comment to another about how she makes her own baby food.  Implying she cares more about her child vs. the working mother probably not having the time of day to blend up baby food.  I’ve also seen how cliquey and judgmental a group of stay at home moms can be which is really unfortunate.  I think it’s more difficult for working moms to meet other moms as well.

working mom

I’m always hearing about how amazing stay at home parents are and how it’s the hardest job on the planet.  I have an amendment to that: being a working parent is the hardest job on the planet.  Period.  And here’s why.

Well before I get into that, I need to say that being a stay at home parent is difficult in and of itself.  I get it.  This is not to discredit any stay at home parent.  Keeping a child entertained all day every day is a task in and of itself.  I would just like to see working parents get a little more love.

I’m sure that the large majority of mom’s would love the opportunity to spend even 1/2 days with their children much less how lucky stay at home moms are that they get all day with their loved little ones and get to raise them fully vs. their kids being in the hands of virtual strangers 8+ hours a day.  You don’t have the worry of leaving them at daycare or with a sitter, leaving them when they’re sick, or the guilt trips that I hear from parents constantly about their children clinging to them, begging them not to go to work.  The one that almost brought me to tears was from a friend who said her young daughter hugged her, looked at her with admiring albeit sad eyes and said, “Mommy, you’re my best friend.  Why do you leave me every day?”  Can you say heart wrenching?

Aside from the emotional strain of being a working parent, there is the obvious, which is you have to work a full-time job.  You have to function 8 hours a day (at least), impressing your bosses/clients/prospects, while making yourself presentable every morning and putting on a happy face after little sleep.  THEN you have to commute home, spend the little bit of precious time with your children that you have left after you finally make it in the door, possibly make dinner, wash them up for bed, clean, prepare for the next day, put the kids to bed, maybe spend time with your partner, get yourself ready for bed and still try to get to sleep by 10 pm only to get up at 5 am the next day and do it all over.

I’m exhausted just typing it out.  I honestly don’t know how working parents do it day in and day out.  I respect the hell out of them.

Some companies are very family friendly, read: flexible.  They allow for school visitations, work from home days, PTO, flexible hours, flexible spending plans for things like daycare expenses and so on.  But as budgets grow tighter and tighter with companies, these benefits seem to be becoming less and less.

Don’t even get me started on the lack of company maternity policies that exist in the United States.  That’s for another post.

My hat goes off to all you working parents.  Know that when your kids are older and they understand the sacrifices you made and all your hard work, they will not only appreciate it but strive to be that amazing themselves as parents.

Comedians I Love

Comedians I Love

Here’s a list of all the comedians who I put on Pandora when I need a good laugh.  Cheers to hoping they make your abs ache and eyes water.  Enjoy!

  1. Bill Cosby
  2. Denis Leary
  3. Jerry Seinfeld
  4. Chelsea Handler
  5. Sarah Silverman
  6. Josh Wolf
  7. Jeff Dunham
  8. Sarah Colonna
  9. John Heffron
  10. Pete Holmes
  11. Anthony Jeselnik
  12. Rodney Dangerfield

There’s a few others that I have always wanted to check out that are classics:

Eddie Murphy

Richard Pryor

Bill Hicks