Seriously. If we could have the ability to just flick a switch to stop ourselves from thinking even for an hour, I would do it in a heartbeat. Here is what goes through my mind in any given hour:
Do I have food in my teeth? I wish my allergies would let up. I have to get my wrists checked. I think I have carpal tunnel. Or arthritis. Darn dog walking all those years! Not that I didn’t love it. I wonder if I’ll ever find a job I love. Does that even exist? I wonder if our new neighbors will be non-smokers. Please God, let them be non-smokers, non drug users. Please. What if we have nightmare neighbors again? Did I pay this bill? I forgot to call ____. I really have to deposit $ in a bank. I wish I was paid more. I’m not making enough for the years experience working I have. Will I ever get pregnant? It hasn’t been long at all but feels like forever with each passing month. I hope Gorilla is okay. I hope she isn’t bored out of her mind. Well [that] was rude. I pray our cars dont break down. We’ll need a new car soon. I really need to get my car door fixed. Somebody is in a crabby mood today. I wish I could take a vacation. Our bank account is getting low. I’m freaking out again. Should I ask for a raise? I think the Hawks will win again. I think Saad is kind of hot. I’m looking forward to our weekend getaway in 2 months. I nailed that presentation. I need to repaint my toes. What should we have for dinner? I have to take the towels out of the dryer. I have to call _____. Oooh! A wedding announcement. The last wedding we went to was so fun. Still didn’t get a thank you card from the 800 person wedding/concert/show. People are so rude when they don’t send thank you cards for wedding gifts. I better see where they are registered. I have to make plans with the bestie. It’s been way too long. Ugh, when??? No time! I miss my bestie and my brother. I never see them. She has cute shoes on. I’m hungry. I really need to start working out. Gotta get out the bike again. That trail was great. I gotta put a reminder in my phone for _____.
And so it goes. For real. I could be doing 4 different tasks at once and somehow even if I’m not consciously thinking of all these things they are always in the back of my mind. But most of the time I am consciously thinking all this. 95% of my thoughts are worries, fears, mostly irrational some rational. Am I the only one who has this? I’m amazed sometimes I can remember anything with all this information on a loop in my brain.
Just switch me off like a light please.